All change!

When I first wrote A Clockwork Apple I did so almost in a frenzy and rage about a lot of things. When it found a publisher I was happy, of course I was, someone was as enthusiastic about it as me! But then, after a few weeks I thought, 'shit', and that's when I began to get scared.

I have heard from other writers that writing is like giving birth - some mean the writing, others mean the whole process of publication, even more mean both. For me the writing was the fun part. But this part - shall we say the gestation period, is hard and scary. It's littered with 'what if's' - what if I'm discovered to be totally crap like that little voice that sometimes succeeds in telling me? And then, when the publisher asked me to submit for editing the version I was happy with I put my fears into action by totally re-structuring the novel and changing lots of stuff. Besides, I didn't want it to be seen as an adaptation of Burgess' Orange, but as being inspired by it. Anyway, publisher not happy with draft 2. He wants draft 1. Shouldn't it be the other way round? Anyway, with my fears still playing havoc I shall watch this bump of a book get bigger, and hopefully, in the fullness of time, I shall have a healthy, bawling baby of a book on my hands!

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