Not pregnant

I am not pregnant. A couple of weeks ago, just a day after returning from a week in Cyprus, I had pains, which got so bad that I felt like jumping out of my own body and discarding it somewhere. Husby took me to the local hospital, which I had never wanted to step foot in due to an unsatisfactory appointment I had there a few months ago, which involved a patronising consultant and feeling like I had been dragged into the 1950s. Four hours after waiting in an A&E room that was only a third full, I was sent back home - nothing confirmed. The next day the pains were much worse - like nothing I had ever experienced, and hope I never will again. I felt like a tortured animal, with sounds to match. This time I was rushed back to the same hospital bypassing the waiting room, and within five minutes had been given enough morphine to take the edge off the pain. I was kept in overnight, and a miscarriage was confirmed. The nurses and doctors - all of whom save one were female - were exemplary in their care and compassion. The next day, itching to get home nonetheless, I underwent a scan and there on the screen saw my, our, baby, a little creature who had 'stopped growing' a few weeks earlier. What upset the Husby was that, on the last day of our Cyprus trip we had ventured into a baby shop and I had pointed out all the outfits that I deemed acceptable for our future child. And yet it was long dead. This, he said, had been the worst thing to contemplate. We returned from the hospital on the Sunday, assured that 'nature would take its course'. But it didn't. And a week later I had the baby surgically removed from my body. Again, the care and compassion was first-class. Worthing Hospital is officially 'outstanding', and is in no small part, due to its Chief Exec, another woman who gave regular talks to all her colleagues throughout the hospital. These talks, one nurse told us as she readied my discharge papers, were 'inspirational'. Effective internal communications are difficult yet simple. Simple sincerity to inspire. Difficult because if someone hasn't got it, then it aint gonna happen. Sincerity cannot be faked. It requires an emotional honesty and humility from the communicator, which can be difficult for any Chief Executive who doesn't even realise they have barriers around them. Luckily for me, this one didn't. 




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